May 8, 2013

Your Kids Learn From You, Even in a Divorce

Have you found yourself repeating to your children a phrase your mom or dad said to you when you were young? It is true that we are most influenced by the parenting models and family dynamics we grew up with.

If you are going through a divorce, how you divorce will have a huge impact on your children. In collaborative divorce practice, your children can experience your better parenting practices even in times of stress and conflict. There are resources for parents to help their children through the divorce process. Vicki Lansky’s The Divorce Book for Parents and Constance Ahron’s The Good Divorce provide practical tips and guides for parents.

In addition to helping them cope with your divorce, you can model for you children a way to handle difficulties in their future relationships by choosing the collaborative divorce process. In a collaborative divorce, your children’s interests will be heard with the help of a collaborative child specialist. Instead of fighting over custody, you will focus on what parenting schedule is in the best interests of your children.

This is a gift to your children, not only for their present well-being but also for their future relationships and parenting.

Linda Ojala
Attorney, Baker Vicchiollo Law

Linda Ojala, J.D. has been practicing collaborative divorce since 1993 and believes that most people want to avoid court and make their own decisions about their future. As a Financial Early Neutral Evaluator for Hennepin County Family Court since 2007, she has helped couples make realistic assessments of possible outcomes in court. Learn more at

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