December 17, 2013

You Get What You Don’t Fight For


Here’s the $64,000 question: when it comes to your divorce, how would you go about getting your best possible outcome–(1) rely on arbitrary decisions by a third-party, (2) waiting until you’re out of money before conceding, or (3) coming to a mutually supportive agreement with your ex?

If you’ve picked option 3, you’re right. By being willing to accept a lesser degree of conflict and negotiating a fair and reasonable settlement based on shared goals and the free and open exchange of information, couples are able to better provide for them and their families long-term well-being.

The numbers back this up. Based on a study of divorcing Connecticut couples, couples that go through a non-adversarial divorce (mediation, Collaborative Law) have better outcomes than couples that restrict themselves to a court based process.

  • Non-adversarial divorces cost less and take less time than adversarial ones.
  • Couples had fewer post-decree issues.
  • Women who go through a non-adversarial divorce are more likely to receive a higher percentage of family assets, have longer periodic support, and get greater amounts of child support than their adversarial counterparts.
  • Men who go through a non-adversarial divorce are more likely to have a higher percentage of family income, enter into co-parenting arrangements (joint custody), and are more likely to have well-defined visitation arrangements.

The bottom line is that a non-adversarial divorce leaves couples in a better position to build their future; having not spent their time and money on conflict, they are able to plan for things like their children’s college education, or developing an opportunity into a business.

Bruce Cameron
Attorney, Cameron Law, PLLC

Bruce Cameron, JD, MS is a second career attorney, practicing Quaker, and advocate for small town law practices. His solo practice focuses exclusively on collaborative law and mediation with just a soupçon of estate planning for excitement. Bruce believes that alternative dispute resolution mechanisms, like collaborative law and mediation, are powerful positive means to reduce the destructive conflict typical of litigation. He has found that a little peacemaking tends to produce better outcomes for his clients. Learn more at

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