The world is full of divorce experts willing to give you “free” advice about how to handle your divorce. Divorce is so common today that everyone from your hair stylist to your parents are likely to have advice about how you should handle your divorce.
There are several reasons why this amateur advice is almost always detrimental. Here are just a few:
- Lacking Context. The opinions that most people have about how to divorce is significantly biased by a small slice of information that is out of context. A divorce usually involves numerous issues. It is very difficult to know how one issue should be handled without having a thorough understanding of all of the other issues. Skilled divorce attorneys can help put these issues in context in ways that will help you get a better settlement.
- Emotional enmeshment. Many of your friends or families members may have an emotional reaction to your divorce that will alter their advice. Often that emotional reaction triggers a desire to protect you by urging you to take a more aggressive stance. This generally leads to stirring up acrimony that will actually make it more difficult for you to achieve your highest goals.
The Solution: Be wary of free advice. Make a distinction between the people in your life who can advise you and the people in your life who can provide you with personal or emotional support. All people going through divorce can use emotional and personal support to help them through a difficult time. Reach out to your friends and family to provide you with that emotional support and ask them to refrain from providing legal advice. At the same time, you should thoroughly research attorneys and even interview several people to find a good fit, and then select an attorney that you truly trust. Once you find a qualified professional that you trust to give legal advice, rely on the advice you are purchasing, rather than the free advice from friends and family members. To find attorneys to interview and to explain your options, go to www.collaborativepractice.org and www.divorcechoice.com.Tagged with: Collaborative Divorce • communication • divorce • Divorce Process • healthy divorce • Mindfulness • productive conflict resolution