July 16, 2013

What Bethenny Frankel Could Learn From the Collaborative Divorce Process

bethenny-frankel-3-500We can once again look to reality TV stars for the “What Not to Do During Your Divorce,” forehead-slapping moment.  As if it wasn’t enough for Bethenny Frankel to tell every tabloid she could find that her divorce was mistake, Ms. Frankel has now reportedly called her husband trash, lazy and stupid in front of their pre-schooler.

Getting a divorce is an incredibly emotional experience, draining can get the best of people.  It is almost inevitable that people will say terrible things to or about one another during the divorce process.  However, it is imperative, especially with children in divorce, that people fight these instincts with everything they have.

Using the Collaborative Divorce process to get divorced helps couples to avoid these emotional traps.  The Collaborative Divorce process uses mental health coaches.  These coaches help the couple avoid blaming each other for the mistakes and unfulfilled expectations and move forward to put their family back together.  As a mental health coach and child specialist, Brian Burns so plainly said, “What I believe that most people have, as their deep-down, from-the-heart, truly most important goal, during and after a divorce, is to put their family back together.”

So when you want to say those mean and nasty things about your child’s parent, try to bite your tongue.  The things you say now in front of your children will stay with them.  If you want your future post-divorce to be amicable, avoiding name calling is key.

Then again, doing the opposite of what a reality TV star does is almost always a good bet.

Kimberly Miller,JD, MA, LAMFT

Author disclaimer submitted here with what you want to have at the bottom of each of your posts.

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