When getting divorced, it is important to have a support network. Having a sounding board and friends to talk through things with can help you evaluate options. They can remind you that you are not alone. Acquaintances who have gone through divorce themselves or who have certain expertise (like financial or real estate), may be able to help you with some of the decisions. Everyone needs someone to talk to.
However, sometimes well-intentioned people can cause more harm during the divorce process than good. Everyone seems to have a neighbor that somehow obtained a “better deal” than you did. They either received more in settlement or support than you are considering or they paid less than you. This “Greek Chorus” phenomenon can slow down progress and make a collaborative process more difficult than it needs to be.
When reaching out to others for support during divorce, keep the following things in mind:
- Remember that you live with your resolutions. If something feels right to you, it might be best to not let your friends talk you out of it.
- You can always ask your support network to just listen.
- Figure out how you feel after talking through things with certain friends – if it doesn’t make you feel better or more positive about resolutions, they may not be the best support.
- If you ask for advice, be very specific about what you are asking for and let your support know that you may not take their advice, you are just gathering information.
- Be careful if you seek advice on one piece of the settlement without considering all elements.
- You can always use your collaborative attorney as your sounding board instead of peers. Your friends and family can support you in other ways.