September 29, 2015

People Before Numbers

It does not matter in the life of a child how much money you have in your bank account or really how fancy of a home you may live in. What matters most to that child is the quality time that two loving and caring parents can give that child. I will also say being the father of three adult children this does not change with age at least not with my kids.

Ten or twenty years from your divorce the one thing you and your children will remember is how you and your spouse went through this most difficult time in your life. Ask yourself how you would like to have your children remember it. Did they feel trapped in the middle like many children of divorce or did you and your spouse work together to keep them front and center. Your kids will remember and so will you.

As a financial neutral and mediator, I use agendas to start meetings to give us a track to run on. Part of that agenda includes a section titled, “Let’s Have a Conversation People Before Numbers”.   I explain that as people they are far more important than any numbers on a balance sheet or cash flow statement. Sometimes it is too easy to get so caught up in the numbers of divorce negotiations the couple forgets that they are living breathing human beings with needs, interests, feelings and emotions. Sure, the financial issues are important but I believe in putting people ahead of numbers.

Want to have successful divorce negotiations put yourself in the shoes of your spouse, which may be easier said than done. If you can do this, if you can put your spouse before the numbers, the numbers tend to work themselves out. Do this and not only you and your spouse will remember how you handled this most difficult time in your life, your children will too.

Mike Miller

Mike Miller guides people through some of life’s toughest transitions including divorce (or as stated by an 8 year old, “getting unmarried”). Going through a painful divorce himself after a 32 year, marriage changed his life. Mike now helps couples make sense of the financial issues for them and their children. His approach is family centered and he emphasizes, “People always come before numbers.” Mike specializes in working with people in transition, helping them create and design the rest of their life so they can live it to the fullest.

He is a Certified Financial Planner™, professional and past president of the Financial Planning Association of Minnesota. Mike completed family mediation training at Hamline University School of Law Mediation Center and is a qualified neutral under Rule 114 of the Minnesota Rules of Practice. The Minnesota Statewide ADR-Rule 114 Neutrals Roster is published by the State Court Administrators Office. Visit his website at to learn more.

Registered Representative, Securities offered through Cambridge Investment Research, Inc. a Broker/Dealer, Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisor Representative, Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, Inc., a Registered Investment Advisor. Integra Shield Financial Group LLC and Cambridge are not affiliated. Neither Cambridge nor Integra Shield Financial Group offers legal advice. Individuals are advised to and should rely upon their professional legal advisors.

Integra Shield Financial Group
3181 Fernbrook Ln
Plymouth, MN 55447

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