Once you have reached the difficult conclusion that your marriage is over, opening the door to discussing divorce with your spouse is never easy. Yet the way that you choose to talk about a possible divorce may have an enormous impact on you and your family for many years.

Should you carefully plan your legal strategy before talking to your spouse or should you be open and honest? Does the answer depend on whether you are more interested in protecting your money or your integrity? In truth, the answer may be the same either way.

Yes, if you want to preserve the dignity of your family, protect your children from an adversarial divorce and honor your own sense of integrity, an open approach is likely to be your best choice. At the same time, if you want to protect your interests and make sure that you get the best financial result, your best choice is probably, and here is the big surprise, an open and honest approach.

From working with families as a divorce lawyer for 30 years, it is clear to me that starting the divorce in an open and transparent manner almost always leads to a better outcome, in every respect. Secretly planning for the divorce and hiding your plans from your spouse will not lead to any advantages when the divorce happens, and will likely fuel fear and suspicion that can make your divorce a nightmare.

Despite this reality, many attorneys will still advise clients to engage in secret divorce planning strategies that often help the lawyer more than they help the clients. Before taking these steps, you need to get a second opinion. One way to achieve this is to schedule a free consultation with an experienced Collaborative attorney.