November 12, 2015

How Do You Step Back and Really Think?

Categories: Collaborative LawDivorce

Some say that life is a whole lot more stress-free now than ever before. I suppose it might seem that way if you consider that most of us living in this modern era in the United States of America have little to fear from outside sources. How many of us wake up each morning and immediately plot what we will do during the day to avoid being attacked and eaten by a wild animal? Yet I just heard a piece on public radio recounting how a woman in Massachusetts was attacked by a thirty pound raccoon that ran her down near her bucolic home and wrestled her to the ground. Fighting for her life she was able to pin it face down in the snow while struggling to locate her cell phone and call for help. The rabid raccoon was one of a growing number of rabid raccoons. She no longer feels safe when going outside near her beautiful, secluded home.

For most of us, we do not often, if ever, come face to face with a wild animal. For many people, however, who live in unsafe neighborhoods, the risk of being robbed, raped, beaten or assaulted is more than an occasional risk. But in some neighborhoods this is a real and present risk.

It has been said that we can never really know our true strength until we have faced a genuine crisis. We go through life thinking we are strong, when we have only been safe. In fact, it is this very sense of safety that may put us at our greatest risk. If we pay attention to how animals in the wild live we will learn that they constantly on alert, checking their environment for danger. We, on the other hand, walk around plugged in to our social media devices, oblivious at times to our external environment.

We are facing epidemic instances of identity theft – not as traumatic as having someone break into our home and hold us hostage while they steal our property and vandalize our sacred space. But when it happens, just as real an impact as being attacked by a wild animal.

When things do intrude upon our sanctity we can be devastated. Divorce, of course, is one such thing that can turn our lives upside down in an instant. Very often it may be accompanied by betrayal by the very person we felt most loved and protected by.
At such times as these it is crucial we find some comfort and support – not only by those with whom we are the closest, but more so by someone who has the professional experience and training to help guide us through crisis. Such a person is invaluable in their ability to help us discover the way in which we need to step back, and find the space within which we can really think. This is how we acquire wisdom.

As I look back over my life time, I recognize how much better equipped I am to deal with adversity now than I was when I was younger. At the same time, I am still subject to trauma when confronted by adversity. It is never fun. Now, however, I have an ever stronger awareness of the very real benefits that can come from finding the strength to move through crisis.

So, what do you do to help yourself deal with adversity? Who do you have as a support network to assist you in finding your internal strength?

One such support network available to help you through one of life’s top trauma’s, divorce, is the Collaborative Law Institute. We can help by answering your questions. We can help by providing the option of sanity – the space within which to work through the issues you must address in a safe environment. Ask any collaborative professional for more information.


Bruce Peck

Bruce is one of the founding members of the Collaborative Law Institute.
Back in the Wonder Years, this small group was trying to figure out what a new way of practicing family law might look like. Today the collaborative law concept has exploded, not just throughout the United States, but also internationally. For over thirty years Bruce has continued to hone his skills to provide the highest quality of services to family law clients. He helps good people make tough choices during difficult times.

Bruce is a laid back and easy going person who listens well to others. He is a shameless optimist who can always see possibility and opportunity. Being very curious by nature, he is a voracious reader. His love for words has drawn him into being an avid poet.

Bruce’s skills supports clients interests without alienating their spouse. When the parties reach agreement, it is not under duress. They have the time to discuss all decisions with their attorneys before signing the agreement. Once completed, the stipulated divorce is filed with the court for a default hearing in which neither party, nor their attorneys, ever have to set foot inside a courthouse. Learn more at

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