The creativity of the genius has been largely romanticized. The movie, Amadeus, portrayed Mozart to be a sort of idiot savant – divinely inspired to compose music in his head from whole cloth. Those of us who labor to achieve some measure of musical expertise are particularly susceptible to the notion that those masters who inspired us somehow had special gifts, and for them music was effortless. Only this notion is not true or accurate.
Somehow it is easier to believe that if I had been gifted with musical genius I could accomplish the same things the musical greats accomplished – but I am unable to do so because they had a special gift. With very few exceptions greatness is driven by discipline, and discipline provides the drive and focus to push musical abilities to the highest levels of accomplishment. Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.
It is this same foible that causes us to imagine other lives to be free from the difficulties which afflict us. It is because we only see the public side of others that we more often see them as being eternally happy. Suffering must be only inflicted on us, while others live perfect lives.
For those of us who have chosen certain professions we are privileged to observe the private lives of our clients, and that rare opportunity can go a long way to help us see that we all, to some extent, lead lives of quiet desperation. For me it was a powerful experience to learn that people’s lives occur in a multitude of circumstances. Eventually it helped me give up my private convictions that only my life has been a struggle – or that I must belong to a small group of people who have all the problems.
In reality, a large majority of the people with whom I have worked are good people. As my own personal development has occurred I see it as a lifelong process. I see my life’s challenges as having provided my deepest satisfactions, and my shortcomings as having been essential to arriving at a place of my best accomplishments. This is true, I believe, for many of us.
For me, being in the right place at the right time afforded me the opportunity to be part of the creation and development of the collaborative law paradigm – an alternative approach for those going through the process of ending a marriage relationship. This has been transformational for many people – the possibility of shifting what has commonly been one of the most challenging emotional experiences of life into an opportunity for mutual growth and insight.
Just as the experience of creating classic musical compositions does not happen by magic, but by concerted effort, so is the possibility of creating a positive life experience from what has typically been a life shattering event.
Over the last twenty-five years some of the best and brightest professionals have co-created a new process that supports parties step into their highest functioning selves to find principled resolutions to ending a marriage relationship.
If you would like to learn more about this exciting new paradigm, contact any collaborative law professional to provide you with more information.Tagged with: healthy divorce • Mental Health • peaceful divorce • productive conflict resolution