May 7, 2013

A Team for the Family During Divorce

divorce teamDo you remember when Hillary Rodham Clinton wrote her book: It Takes a Village? In the opening of her book she wrote: “Children are not rugged individualists.  They depend on the adults they know and on thousands more who make decisions every day that affect their well being.”

When a family is in the divorce process, decisions will be made that affect the well being of children, the parents, the entire family.  Those of us who are involved in supporting families through the problem solving tasks of divorce, have a responsibility to provide a process that enables the family to make the best possible educated decisions for their family to thrive.

I believe that when parents decide to divorce,  it takes a team to move through the process and arrive at the finish with a good plan for each family tailored to their unique needs.

 When a family uses the Collaborative Divorce team process, the family has the benefit of a highly trained multidisciplinary group of professionals: attorneys who provide legal advice, licensed mental health professionals who provide expertise on managing emotions and communications and guides the parents regarding the best interests of the children, and a financial expert who advises on assets, cash flow and property. This team works collaboratively together and with the family so that the parents can make well  informed decisions as they transition to a family with two homes.

Why is this necessary you might ask?  According to research of Holmes and Rahe, divorce is considered one of the most stressful life transitions for adults and children, and when combined with other related life events, the risks associated with stress for adults and children are increased and compounded.  Every member of the family is potentially at risk.

Lets face it, when we are stressed, it is difficult to make good decisions. When we are  emotionally heated up, the part of the brain that needs to be up and running to process information and solve problems does not function well.   When a family is in divorce, there are many highly complex questions that need to be resolved.  There are numerous financial decisions, decisions regarding the physical, emotional and educational  needs of the children, and decisions about how parents will co-parent from two homes.

A Collaborative Practice team works diligently together with the divorcing couple, assisting them to make the best decisions for the family as a whole and for each member of the family.

We have children depending on us to provide parents with the best guidance possible in order to preserve the family and help parents create home environments for children to flourish physically, emotionally, academically, behaviorally, and spiritually.

Stephanie TschidaABOUT THE AUTHOR
Stephanie Tschida

Stephanie Tschida, M.S., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Collaborative Divorce Neutral Child Specialist and Divorce Coach is in private practice in Woodbury Minnesota. She is committed to supporting her clients through the uncertainty of family change, so that they can experience a smooth transition, have a positive adjustment and strong family plan to carry them forward. Learn more about Stephanie's therapy practice and collaborative divorce work at: Learn more at

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One Response to A Team for the Family During Divorce

  1. Pingback: A Tableau of (mis)Fortunes | Collaborative Law Institute of MN

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