February 24, 2016

The Power of Intentionality

Categories: Collaborative LawDivorce

588932723-book-on-table-gettyimagesWhen I discovered Gary Zukov’s book,

    The Seat of the Soul

, I found it to be transformational. His presentation about the concept of soul went far beyond anything I had heard in my Catholic upbringing. It became an easy read due to the lack of dogma. My ears listen so much better outside the cacaphony of hell fire and brimstones.

I came to see another profound difference in the philosophy he presents. Christianity, Islam and Judaism are all based upon the narrative of the old testament – redemption and salvation. The Seat of the Soul offers a different narrative, that of evolution and reincarnation. This narrative has considerably more merit, for me.

But I ramble. I have no intention of having this be a lecture on religion, simply a narrative that arises from Buddhist thinking that actually provides some tools we can use that are helpful.

From my experience, whenever we move through challenging and difficult times we swim in the possibility of transformation. One such common experience is that of divorce and separation. Countless studies list divorce in the top three most stressful events we experience in our lifetimes. For me, simply shifting my awareness to the possibility that such a time provides an opportunity for profound change that can be transformational. That in itself can lessen the impact.

Two concepts in Zukov’s book provide my case in point. He presents the notion of Choice as an opportunity for the soul to evolve to higher states of consciousness, which is its goal. This happens simply by making choices that fall on the side of love rather than on the side of fear. Fear is the absence of energy, while love is energy.

We make choices on the side of love when we intentionally consider the highest and best good that arises when these choices arise from a healthy personality. Collaborative family practice recognizes this distinction by calling it our highest functioning self. When we make choices from fear, anger and vengeance, we operate in the absence of energy.

Operating from our highest functioning self means that we make choices proactively and consciously from a healthy place within our personality. Yes, at a time we are least likely to be able to access that higher part of our essence. Since it is difficult for most of us to locate this highest functioning self in our best of times, it is a real challenge to first be aware it exists, secondly access that place within us, make a conscious choice about what we do, and how we will go about doing it. Do you remember Will Roger’s saying: “Why not go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.”

So what do we gain by using this process? We learn about the core dynamic of creating authentic power. Rather than putting that plate on this buffet, I encourage you to do your own research to find out what authentic power is.

Now, having said this, let me give you my standard disclaimer. I don’t profess to know whether any of this is true, or whether it might be helpful for you. I have no idea if there is any one truth that exists, or whether Zukov has nailed that highest truth. However, it is a possibility that I personally endorse.

To find out more about how collaborative family law process can support you during the challenging journey of grappling with the end of a significant relationship, contact any collaborative professional.

Bruce PeckABOUT THE AUTHOR
Bruce Peck
Attorney

Bruce is one of the founding members of the Collaborative Law Institute.
Back in the Wonder Years, this small group was trying to figure out what a new way of practicing family law might look like. Today the collaborative law concept has exploded, not just throughout the United States, but also internationally. For over thirty years Bruce has continued to hone his skills to provide the highest quality of services to family law clients. He helps good people make tough choices during difficult times.

Bruce is a laid back and easy going person who listens well to others. He is a shameless optimist who can always see possibility and opportunity. Being very curious by nature, he is a voracious reader. His love for words has drawn him into being an avid poet.

Bruce’s skills supports clients interests without alienating their spouse. When the parties reach agreement, it is not under duress. They have the time to discuss all decisions with their attorneys before signing the agreement. Once completed, the stipulated divorce is filed with the court for a default hearing in which neither party, nor their attorneys, ever have to set foot inside a courthouse. Learn more at www.BrucePeckLawOffice.com

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