October 5, 2015

Divorce and the Orange

138524804-oranges-gettyimagesWhat can an orange possibly help us with in our collaborative divorce or any divorce process for that matter? You may have heard about interest based negotiations vs. position based negotiations. When I am working as a financial neutral or mediator with divorcing couples, I use an orange to demonstrate these two different approaches.

I place an orange on the table and then say to the couple; here we have one orange for the two of you. How are you going to decide who gets the orange? Most people will say cut it in half. While this certainly works, it may not be the best approach. Here is why.

I then tell them each why they want the orange. One wants it to eat because they are hungry. The other wants the orange peel for baking. Now if we were to cut it in half as most people will say they both only get half of what they need. It is only when they state why the orange is important to them that an agreement can be reached.

When negotiating divorce issues think of the orange and remember to talk about your interests instead of locking into a position. The quicker you get to the interests you will be that much closer to an agreement. Not only is emotion and conflict minimized you also get more of what you need/want.  Think orange.

Mike MillerABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mike Miller

Mike Miller guides people through some of life’s toughest transitions including divorce (or as stated by an 8 year old, “getting unmarried”). Going through a painful divorce himself after a 32 year, marriage changed his life. Mike now helps couples make sense of the financial issues for them and their children. His approach is family centered and he emphasizes, “People always come before numbers.” Mike specializes in working with people in transition, helping them create and design the rest of their life so they can live it to the fullest.

He is a Certified Financial Planner™, professional and past president of the Financial Planning Association of Minnesota. Mike completed family mediation training at Hamline University School of Law Mediation Center and is a qualified neutral under Rule 114 of the Minnesota Rules of Practice. The Minnesota Statewide ADR-Rule 114 Neutrals Roster is published by the State Court Administrators Office. Visit his website at www.Integrashieldfinancial.com to learn more.

Registered Representative, Securities offered through Cambridge Investment Research, Inc. a Broker/Dealer, Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisor Representative, Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, Inc., a Registered Investment Advisor. Integra Shield Financial Group LLC and Cambridge are not affiliated. Neither Cambridge nor Integra Shield Financial Group offers legal advice. Individuals are advised to and should rely upon their professional legal advisors.

Integra Shield Financial Group
3181 Fernbrook Ln
Plymouth, MN 55447

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