Author Archives: Tonda L. Mattie

Tonda L. Mattie

About Tonda L. Mattie

Tonda Mattie has been a Family Law attorney for over 30 years and has practiced exclusively Collaborative Family Law since 2006.  She has been involved in the Collaborative Law movement since 1992.  She has been past President and past Co-President of the Collaborative Law Institute (CLI) of Minnesota.  She has headed the CLI Training Committee as chair or co-chair since 2004.  She is engaged in the practice of her dreams using a collaborative process that 1) allows good people to be their best despite the crisis they are in; 2) is centered on the well-being of the children; 3) creates a safe environment for difficult conversations; 4) focuses on the future rather than on blame and past grievances; 5) identifies and meets the needs and interests of all family members; 6) empowers parties to control and create their own mutual settlement; and 7) creates a climate in which healing can begin to occur. Visit her website at www.mndivorce.com.

February 6, 2015

40 Years of Marriage

My husband and I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary this year. It feels like a big number but I don’t feel old or tired of the marriage. My husband and I have worked hard to keep our marriage fresh and Continue reading…

December 1, 2014

The End is the Beginning

The secret to a constructive and respectful divorce is to start at the end and work backward.  Ask yourself, “What do I want my life, my spouse’s life, and my children’s lives to look like when the divorce is all Continue reading…

October 27, 2014

Part III – The Power of Neutrality in the Collaborative Model

In Part I we learned that advocacy in the “rights-based” Court Model is hard on the people involved because by focusing on the 3rd-party decision maker, e.g., the judge, the parties care little about each other’s view.  As a result, Continue reading…

October 8, 2014

Part II – Advocacy in the “Interest-Based” Collaborative Model

In Part I we learned that “rights-based” advocacy in the Court Model is hard on the problem but also hard on the people. Advocacy in the “interest-based” Collaborative Model is also hard on the problem, but SOFT on the people. Continue reading…

September 22, 2014

Part I: Advocacy in the “Right-based” Court Model

Parties going through a divorce need to understand that advocacy in the “rights-based” Court Model and advocacy in the “interest-based” Collaborative Model are different; and advocacy in each of these models feels different as well.  Bear with me while I Continue reading…

June 30, 2014

Life After a Collaborative Divorce: A Client’s Experience

Recently I received a referral from Kristin, a client I represented in 2011 in her collaborative divorce. In thanking her for the referral, I took the opportunity to ask her how she was doing. With her permission, her response is Continue reading…

May 7, 2014

Life After a Collaborative Divorce: A Client’s Experience

Recently I received a LinkedIn endorsement from Christa, a client I represented in 2008 in her collaborative divorce.  In thanking her for her endorsement, I took the opportunity to ask her how she was doing.   With her permission, her response Continue reading…

April 22, 2014

Conscious Uncoupling and Collaborative Practice

Categories: Collaborative LawDivorce

Recent articles in the New York Times and the StarTribune (March 29, 2014) covered Gwyneth Paltrow’s announcement that she and her husband of 11 years, Chris Martin, were consciously uncoupling.  In other words, getting a divorce.  I was struck by Continue reading…

October 31, 2013

No Tricks in Your Divorce Process

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I always dress in costume even if I am not going to a Halloween party. In the past, I have dressed as Ms. Piggy, Jacqueline Onassis Kennedy, the Medusa, a Cone Head, the Pinball Wizard, and Continue reading…

September 19, 2013

To Divorce or Not to Divorce? What to do with this Question.

As a Collaborative Divorce Attorney, I have seen many clients who are ambivalent about getting a divorce. How do I know they are ambivalent? Because, in addition to the story they tell me, I ask potential clients to take the following Continue reading…